Been lurking here for a bit but finally decided to post about this.
What bothers me most is how hard it is to find real, unfiltered opinions on this stuff. Forums like this are honestly more useful than any best-of list I've found through searching.
I've noticed a huge difference between platforms that moderate actively and those that don't. The ones that don't tend to become unusable within a few months.
If you've got experience with any platforms or approaches that work, drop them below.