Finally gave up googling and decided to just ask people with real experience.
The main problem I keep running into is not knowing who to trust or where to even start. There's a ton of conflicting advice out there and half of it feels like it's from people who just want to sell you something.
I've noticed a big difference between platforms that moderate actively and those that don't. The ones that don't tend to become unusable within a few months.
Appreciate advice from people with actual experience rather than just guesswork.