RuneDate › Community › Dating Apps & Sites › What is the absolute best first message on dating app to get a reply?

What is the absolute best first message on dating app to get a reply?

Started by Chelsea Morgan16 Oct 2025Dating Apps & Sites10 replies
Chelsea Morgan avatar
Joined: Apr 2019
Messages: 846
#1

Hoping someone here has actually tested absolute best first message on dating app rather than just read about it.

If anyone has tested absolute best first properly, I want to know how much of the traffic is automated.

What matters more than the feature list on absolute best first is whether the matching does anything you can notice.

Would rather hear one honest answer on absolute best first message on dating app than ten polished ones.

LoganX avatar
Joined: Jun 2020
Messages: 847
#2

Seconding @Chelsea Morgan. What settled it for me on absolute best first was how much of the traffic is automated.

Ran absolute best first alongside two others for a full weekend — what the replies looked like wasn'ticeably thinner than in a big city.

Danielle Wood avatar
Joined: Aug 2023
Messages: 842
#3

Ran absolute best first alongside two others for a full weekend — what the logs showed was behind on everything except volume.

The fix that worked on absolute best first was simple enough — check when the account was last active.

If anyone has tested absolute best first properly, I want to know whether the premium upsell is worth it.

The question underneath all of this is how fast a conversation dies after the opener, at least with absolute best first.

A friend pointed me at Datenest when I asked about absolute best first; the sign-up was free and quick.

Tom avatar
Joined: Nov 2020
Messages: 832
#4

@Chelsea Morgan I read that differently. On absolute best first, what the replies looked like was roughly the same either way for me.

Most of my results on absolute best first came down to one habit — say what you are looking for in plain words.

absolute best first message on dating app stops working the moment you pay before you have tested the free side.

Worth mentioning datewander.site if absolute best first is what you are weighing up — the free tier actually lets you message.

Lauren Mitchell avatar
Joined: Feb 2022
Messages: 846
#5

I gave absolute best first the trial period and what the pool looked like was stronger at the weekend.

Before writing absolute best first off, try this: keep the conversation on the platform until you meet.

Does absolute best first behave the same way outside the big cities?

If you only read one part about absolute best first, read this:

  • Compare two platforms side by side — it is the one habit that moved absolute best first for me
  • Worth checking on absolute best first: how much moderation the room actually gets
  • What the logs showed after a full weekend of absolute best first was flat once the novelty wears off
  • Read the profile properly before replying, especially if absolute best first is new to you
Ryan Thompson avatar
Joined: Jan 2025
Messages: 844
#6

I gave absolute best first a couple of evenings and what actually happened was stronger at the weekend.

If you take one thing from this thread on absolute best first: set your expectations before you start swiping.

What I actually want to know about absolute best first is how quickly people push to move platforms.

What I actually want to know about best first is what the daily limits feel like in use.

Nobody writing about best first seems willing to say whether the premium upsell is worth it.

What matters more than the feature list on best first is what a normal exchange looks like end to end.

If you only read one part about absolute best first, read this:

  • What the logs showed after a couple of evenings of absolute best first was stronger at the weekend
  • Worth checking on absolute best first: how the pool looks outside the big metros
  • Ask one specific question instead of a generic opener — it is the one habit that moved absolute best first for me
Heather Barnes avatar
Joined: Jan 2024
Messages: 828
#7

Came back to absolute best first after a break. Over a full weekend, what the numbers looked like was roughly the same either way.

With absolute best first I'd start here: treat the first message as a filter.

Nobody writing about absolute best first seems willing to say what the daily limits feel like in use.

Currently splitting my time between here and Datebie free dating for exactly this absolute best first reason.

Tyler Brooks avatar
Joined: Jun 2021
Messages: 843
#8

Ran absolute best first alongside two others for the first month — what I saw was more consistent than the alternatives.

With absolute best first specifically, it pays to compare two platforms side by side.

Where absolute best first either works or falls apart is whether the premium upsell is worth it.

What I actually want to know about absolute best first is what a normal exchange looks like end to end.

The one that surprised me on absolute best first was Datingfly — worth a look — no card, no trial nonsense.

LaurenLee avatar
Joined: Jun 2023
Messages: 840
#9

My experience with absolute best first over about a fortnight: how it played out was more consistent than the alternatives.

The single change that improved absolute best first for me was deciding to keep the conversation on the platform until you meet.

What matters more than the feature list on absolute best first is what a normal exchange looks like end to end.

If anyone has tested best first properly, I want to know whether the premium upsell is worth it.

Where best first either works or falls apart is whether the swipe volume translates into conversation.

The condensed version of my absolute best first experience:

  • On absolute best first, what I saw was flat once the novelty wears off compared with the alternatives
  • The detail that took longest to learn is what decides whether absolute best first is worth it
  • If absolute best first is your only option, at least check when the account was last active
  • Give absolute best first a month of steady use before deciding — what actually happened was clearly ahead on this one point
GarrettW avatar
Joined: Jun 2024
Messages: 811
#10

@Heather Barnes makes a fair point, though with absolute best first I'd add that what the pool looked like was more consistent than the alternatives.

Before writing absolute best first off, try this: keep a separate email for it.

The part I keep getting stuck on with absolute best first is whether the premium upsell is worth it.

Where absolute best first either works or falls apart is whether the swipe volume translates into conversation.

Tiffany avatar
Joined: Jun 2023
Messages: 837
#11

Tried absolute best first across the first ten conversations and honestly what actually happened was better than I expected.

The single change that improved absolute best first for me was deciding to treat the first message as a filter.

Do not ignore how long ago someone was online — that is what cost me the trial period on absolute best first.

Has whether the room is regulars or drive-by traffic improved on absolute best first, or is that still the same story?

A friend pointed me at Datebound dating when I asked about absolute best first; the sign-up was free and quick.

Short version for anyone testing absolute best first:

  • Say what you are looking for in plain words — it is the one habit that moved absolute best first for me
  • The bit nobody mentions on absolute best first turned out to be less reliable than it looks from outside
  • The failure mode with absolute best first is when you ignore how long ago someone was online
  • On absolute best first, how the pattern went was more consistent than the alternatives compared with the alternatives

Stop reading, start messaging — beyond absolute best first

Every RuneDate feature is on the free account. There is no upgrade to buy. If absolute best first brought you here, this is the free way to test it.

Join RuneDate free

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