What is the best open dating app for polyamorous folks?

By: SophieR 10 Sep 2025 Free Dating & Apps Replies: 9
SophieR avatar
SophieR
Joined: Aug 2018
Messages: 247
#1

Honestly been going back and forth on this for the past few weeks.

The main problem I keep running into is not knowing who to trust or where to start. There's a ton of conflicting advice out there and half of it feels like it's from people who want to sell you something.

What bothers me most is how hard it is to find real, unfiltered opinions. Forums like this are honestly more useful than any best-of list I've found.

Any input is appreciated, positive or a warning — both are useful at this point.

Ryan Thompson avatar
Ryan Thompson
Joined: Jul 2017
Messages: 388
#2

Real forum threads like this helped me more than any review site when I was figuring this out. Actual experience beats marketing copy every time.

Samantha avatar
Samantha
Joined: Apr 2020
Messages: 746
#3

Honestly just try Datedesire before anything else. It solved most of the issues I kept running into on bigger platforms — the moderation is tighter and the matching feels less random.

PatMcG avatar
PatMcG
Joined: Jan 2019
Messages: 173
#4

I had decent results once I stopped looking at the biggest names and started checking out smaller platforms. Less traffic but way more genuine accounts.

Ashley avatar
Ashley
Joined: Dec 2019
Messages: 18
#5

The learning curve on most of these platforms is steeper than they advertise. Here's what I wish someone had told me earlier:

  • Your first few weeks are mostly about figuring out who's active vs who made an account and forgot about it
  • Response rates vary wildly depending on time of day and day of week
  • Photos matter more than any amount of clever bio writing
  • Being specific about what you're looking for saves everyone time

Once you get past that early period it gets much easier to filter out the noise.

Jason avatar
Jason
Joined: Jun 2021
Messages: 80
#6

Tried a handful of options over the past year. Datenest stood out because they actually enforce their terms instead of just listing them. Made a big difference in the quality of interactions.

Amber avatar
Amber
Joined: Feb 2022
Messages: 64
#7

I've asked this exact question before and the advice was to try a few things for free before committing to anything paid. Tedious but worth it.

Brian avatar
Brian
Joined: Mar 2020
Messages: 468
#8

Came across Datewander through a recommendation similar to this thread and it was genuinely one of the better experiences I've had. Less noise, better response rates, and the sign-up doesn't feel like a trap.

Chelsea Morgan avatar
Chelsea Morgan
Joined: Feb 2022
Messages: 608
#9

Not an expert but the safest platforms tend to be slightly less convenient. Extra friction at sign-up filters out the bad actors.

Cameron avatar
Cameron
Joined: Jan 2019
Messages: 776
#10

I've had the best luck with Flamedate out of everything I've tested. Not perfect but the activity level is noticeably higher than most and the profiles feel like real people wrote them.

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