Respectfully @Chelsea, dating sites is not that clear-cut. What actually happened was less reliable than it looks from outside.
The fix that worked on dating sites was simple enough — treat the first message as a filter.
The question underneath all of this is how the meet-up conversation usually goes, at least with dating sites.
What matters more than the feature list on dating sites is what the travel radius realistically is.
What I actually want to know about dating sites is whether the profiles are current or years old.
A friend pointed me at a free alternative when I asked about dating sites; the sign-up was free and quick.
Boiled down, dating sites came to this:
- If dating sites is your only option, at least say what you are looking for in plain words
- Read the profile properly before replying — it is the one habit that moved dating sites for me
- Give dating sites the first handful of matches before deciding — what people reported was behind on everything except volume
- Use a photo that shows your face clearly, especially if dating sites is new to you